It starts with apology, says man born in 'Pollard home

Most people use Facebook to catch up with old friends but Paul Kenahan used the social networking site to be reunited with the biological mother who put him up for adoption more than 40 years ago.
A father of five, Paul was born in February 1968 at the Manor House Mother and Baby Home in Castlepollard, which was run by the Sacred Heart Sisters. He spent six months in Castlepollard with his mother Patricia (not her real name), who was then 19, before he was adopted by the Kenahans, a Sligo couple.
He first began his quest to be reunited with his birth mother in 1998. “I turned 30 and was getting married the following year. I thought that it would be great that all my family were there,” said Paul.
“I was so lucky. I travelled to Castlepollard and the parish priest told me that the records used to be kept in the parochial house but the HSE moved them to Mullingar.
“I went to Mullingar, it was a Friday evening. The lady behind the counter asked me what information I had. I said only my date of birth so she said that it would be like looking for a needle with a haystack – but she came back quickly as I was the only boy born in February 1968. It was pure pot luck – there could have been 40 boys born that month,” he said.
After getting his birth cert, Paul, who lives in Sligo up to this day with his wife Christina and family, got in touch with social services and while it looked as if a meeting was on “things fell asunder”.  
He attributes this, at least in part, to the reluctance of the powers that be to put children in touch with their biological mothers.  
“There were a lot of mixed messages and there were a lot of brick walls put up. They don’t want to reunite families. They want their secret to stay secret. They promised the mothers that they would keep it secret but that excuse has worn thin over the years.”
Paul never gave up hope of meeting his biological mother but with five young children to raise, other priorities took over.  In 2010, Christina urged him to try again.
Armed with his mother’s name and an idea of where she was from, he went on Facebook and contacted his sister. It emerged that his mother and his father, who subsequently married, never disclosed to his biological siblings that they had a child who they gave up as teenagers.
Although he feared that he had caused “World War III”, Paul’s decision to contact his sister via Facebook led to a reconciliation that otherwise might never have happened.
He now has an “excellent” relationship with his mother and biological brother and two sisters. Sadly, his father passed away in 2009.  
Three years on from that emotionally charged meeting, Paul says it remains forever seared in his memory.
“I walked into a room of people and it was like staring into my own reflection. My brother and I – neither of us had a brother growing up....
“We have the same interests, he played hurling and darts and so did I. We do exactly the same things, we scratch our heads the same way and talk the same way. Genes are a funny thing.”
Paul admits that he sometimes goes ‘what if?’ when he thinks about his biological family, but is adamant he bears no anger towards his parents for giving him up 45 years ago.
Like all the girls and their babies that went through the gates of the Manor House Mother and Baby Home in Castlepollard, Paul believes that he and his mother were victims of a harsh society in which the church wielded a disproportionate amount of influence.
“My mother never wanted to give me up. She was heartbroken when I was taken from her and she thought she would never see me again. I firmly believe the girls might have physically left Castlepollard but psychologically they never did, even 40 years on.”
While nothing the current government can do will rewrite the wrongs of the past, Paul believes that the mothers and babies of Castlepollard should receive the same treatment as the Magdalene Laundry survivors. “It starts with an apology. I don’t think you can put a monetary value on it...
“The girls were abandoned by everyone. Their parents’ reputations were worth more than their children. Many of these girls, like my mother, were children having children.”