'The Funeral Mass is a ritual, the same for everyone, for all are equal in God's eyes'
'The Funeral Mass is a ritual, the same for everyone, for all are equal in God’s eyes’
A priest’s reflection on the Funeral Mass, by Fr Paul Crosbie
When a loved one dies, the family contacts the local priest to help prepare for the Funeral Mass. They do so because they have a desire to pray for and accompany their loved one on their final journey. They do so, because deep within their faith, they know that the Mass is a sacred moment, a solemn prayer that offers them hope and consolation in eternal life. They want to commend their loved one to the grace and mercy of God, praying to God to gather the dead to Himself. The funeral Mass too offers the opportunity for the Christian community to pray for the dead and to “be with the family” when a loved one has died.
It is normal practice for the local priest to visit the home of the deceased before the Funeral Mass. From my work as a curate in a parish, it is a humbling experience to share the family’s grief and to offer support. I share this time with them and, above all, I listen to their memories, to hear their pride and sadness. In between the tea and tears, we make preparations for the Funeral Mass.
My role is not that of the funeral undertaker or a ‘master of ceremonies’. My role is to offer the Mass, which is the community’s prayer of petition and thanksgiving, so that the deceased may rest in peace. I seek to ensure that the prayer is respectful, both towards the Lord to whom we pray and towards the family in their sadness. We choose readings from the Bible that reflect our hope in the resurrection and our esteem for the person who has died.
We write intercessions – the Prayer of the Faithful – giving family members the opportunity to thank God for the ‘life and example of the person’ who has died. We arrange the procession of the offertory gifts which, together with the bread and wine for consecration, usually include symbols of the loved one’s life. The dignity and imagination of the bereaved and the sensitivity they bring to these moments is an important part of the Funeral Mass.
Having discussed and agreed the hymns for the Mass, we work together on preparing the homily. We seek to break open God’s word of comfort to us. We speak of faith, sometimes shared in abundance by the deceased, but that’s not always the case. We talk about how our lives can be viewed from beyond the grave, where God who is merciful and extravagant in love desires us to share eternity in His presence.
Affection usually flows when we talk of the dead and comfort is found in shared recollection, purple passages of anecdotes, a glimpse of healing grace as people in the ease of company put words on deep emotions. Here God speaks through fleshy recollections, where neither condemnation or canonization occurs, but there are lessons and there is grace in the life of every human soul. With the support of the family, the homily casts the light of faith on their experiences of life and the hope of eternity.
Although the Funeral Mass is not a personal possession, nor is it impersonal, for here we gather as family and friends in the presence of the local Christian community. The words of the Scriptures come to bear, that ‘where two or three gather in God’s name, He is there among them’. The sprinkling of water, the chime of bells, the scent of incense mingle with familiar faces offering sympathy and the expression of faith in God and in humanity which He created. The Funeral Mass is a ritual, the same for everyone. The circumstances of one’s life or of one’s death make no difference, for all are equal in God’s eyes.
It is a sacred duty for the Church to offer this spiritual service in the face of death. It is but one part of the Church’s ministry to the grieving which, in many parishes, includes bereavement support services, as well as celebrating anniversaries and other remembrances. Long after the final hymn is over and the grave is filled in, I hope that the practice of this ancient sacred ritual will bring some measure of comfort to the bereaved, just as we prayed that it may bring rest for the dead.