Could Trump build a wall around Mexican waves?
Despite having an undisguised hatred of the sight of the fairweather fans-driven Mexican wave during sporting events, I have to concede that I have one good memory of same at a soccer international.
It happened in Hanover on June 15, 1988 moments before Ronnie Whelan’s sensational volley nudged the Republic of Ireland ahead against the USSR in our second group game at Euro 88. Seconds later, all members of our travelling group from Mullingar and its surrounds were ecstatic, my ‘reward’ being a broken seat from a pal overdosing on his ecstasy (immense joy from witnessing the goal, that it is)!
This relief-from-boredom wave was in evidence again in the Aviva Stadium throughout Stephen Kenny’s charges’ as-expected facile win over Gibraltar eight days ago. I would like to think I am as ‘up for the craic’ as anybody of my vintage, but I always unashamedly do my best Victor Meldrew impersonation when it is my ‘turn’ to stand up and idiotically wave my hands.
Three nights later in Tallaght, attempts were made to get a wave going as Vera Pauw’s women secured a noteworthy 3-2 World Cup warm-up win against Zambia, but thankfully it ended after a ripple or two. I will, please God, be at the girls in green’s games in Sydney and Brisbane in the weeks ahead where my Meldrewitis will again be on show!
So, what did we learn about our flagship international teams last week? Well, we learned that the men continue to be an assortment of very ordinary players. Indeed, another man with a 1956 ‘registration’, Liam Brady, came out in his own inimitable Meldrewonic way last week to reiterate precisely what many of us have said and written in recent years. Yes, we have some reasonably promising players (as strong as I would go) in defence and attack, but continue to be short of even one midfielder fit to lace the boots of truly great players such as the aforementioned Arsenal legend. And as long as that continues, we seem sure to miss out on participation in the major tournaments.
Indeed, mention of the 1-1 draw above with the Soviets in what was arguably the best football display of the glorious Jack Charlton reign, invariably brings up the discussion on just how many gifted players the big Geordie inherited. For a variety of reasons, three of the best five players that the country has fielded in my lifetime (John Giles and Roy Keane completing the quintet) were unavailable that night, and yet we still outplayed the USSR. Liam Brady (32), Mark Lawrenson (31) and Paul McGrath (28) all missed out on that memorable night, allowing Kevin Sheedy to display his silky skills in midfield. A sub for Big Jack’s early years, how we could do with somebody of the Evertonian’s class in 2023. Accordingly, a return Euros trip to Germany next year already looks very unlikely after defeats in two ‘proper’ games and a cakewalk (after a sluggish first half) against Gibraltar.
The loss in the second of those ‘proper’ games, away to Greece 11 days ago, was not as unexpected as many new-found supporters might think, but certainly the awful performance has taken significant brownie points from Stephen Kenny’s CV. Given that a no-expense-spared preparation period was funded in Turkey by the FAI – a level of luxury denied to previous Irish bainisteoirs – the very least that the Irish public expected was a good showing in Athens. Instead, they were ‘treated’ to a dire display which almost certainly means that a place in the convoluted play-offs will be the boys in green’s best option to qualify – and if you understand said convolution, you are smarter than yours truly!
Nobody doubts James McClean’s passion for the green jersey, and all things Irish, but to become just the seventh Irish player to reach 100 caps seems an extraordinarily generous reward for a journeyman club player. I remember in the 1970s when the small international ‘ton-up’ club consisted of sublimely talented footballers like Bobby Charlton. Indeed, when the PA announcer said, ‘we will now show you some highlights from James’ previous 99 caps’, and I loudly proclaimed, ‘that won’t take long’, my remark generated laughter, not ire!
Nobody enjoys knocking players, and it would be great to think that one of our own such as Kenny could turn things round, but unless there are a few ‘Granny Rule’ men willing to throw in their lot as ‘Oirishmen’, it is hard to be optimistic. The Townsends and Lawrensons of this world were glad to do so. Not so, the Grealishes and Rices any more.
Despite the failed (thank God!) attempts to start Mexican waves, there was a party-like atmosphere in the home of Shamrock Rovers on Thursday night, much of it generated by hundreds of young girls present, all dreaming of being the next Katie McCabe. However, the friendly with Zambia was serious business for Pauw and several fringe players hoping to make the flight to Australia.
The visitors will also debut in next month’s World Cup and they have some fine footballers, with the likes of Barbara Banda (probably the best player on show) and Rachael Kundananji fit to grace any side. Their 20th-minute goal was a messy effort and not even identified as a score for a few moments by their small cohort of fans, a fact confirmed for me by one of same, the affable and unashamedly-hoarse Mullingar-based Zambian native, Fr Vincent Daka, at Mass in St Paul’s the following morning!
However, with Courtney Brosnan at one end showing why she recently won FAI women’s Player of the Year – she could be busy in Australia – Hampden Park heroine Amber Barrett came to Ireland’s rescue at the other. Her second half brace (including a spot-kick – handball penalties continue to be softly awarded in female and male games), along with a great header from Claire O’Riordan, ensured a home win. Kundananji doubled the losers’ tally with aplomb late on. Pauw’s united and talented group are sure to do us proud in Oz. This scribe is excitedly counting the days!
And the highlight of the night in Tallaght? A superb post-match 99 in a shop near the resplendent ground. Well, given the headline above, I felt it right to finish with flake news!