To tattoo or not tattoo – that is the question…

Perhaps you got one for Christmas? Maybe you just went and bought one for yourself? Or could it be that somebody is preventing you from getting one in the first place? We are talking here, my friends, about the thorny issues of tattoos.

I don’t know about you, but it has totally amazed me as to how tattooing has become socially acceptable in recent years. There isn’t even a generation gap to argue, as granny is just as likely to go sporting a bit of skin art as is her pink-haired, wild student granddaughter.

More than a third of British 35-52-year-olds now have a tattoo, according to research by the Guardian newspaper. That is the same proportion as 16-35-year-olds. The percentage does drop to half that figure among 55-75-year-olds, but that is still an awful lot of ink wells. More and more ‘mature’ folks are taking the tattoo plunge to mark a major milestone, such as a significant birthday or retirement. Older people, however, are less likely to flaunt their acquisition or display their ‘daring’.

At the risk of offending my few tattooed friends, I cannot sit on the fence here. I am not a fan of this artwork and I just don’t like the trend. We accept that tattoos are mainstream fashion in today’s world, but it will never do it for me. My aversion to skin scrawling may have mellowed a bit over the years, but I have history.

Here are two unrelated tattoo tales.

Whether it was in our gyms in Mullingar, or pubs in Spain, I wouldn’t hire anybody ‘covered in tattoos’. One time in the early 2000s, I hired three barmen in Ireland to work in Paddy’s Point Pub in Spain. I checked everything, except asking one guy to roll up his sleeve! When he togged out for work in the pub’s short-sleeved dress code, I discovered to my horror that the new barman was black from elbow to wrist with tattoos. I gave him money and sent him to purchase two long-sleeved shirts, as close in colour as he could find to our uniform. That was a temporary solution, followed by a permanent one two weeks later, when he quit. And all my principled stand cost me was the price of an airline ticket and two shirts! (Ok, Lads, you are right… but the next one is better.)

In 1965/66 I worked for Birkenhead Corporation on the buses. Our depot, at Rock Ferry, was next door the The Farmer’s Arms pub. That’s where we all got to know each other and chatted up the ‘clippies’ [female bus conductors] (no… no, not me Darling!)

I remember many of those work colleagues, especially Luke, with whom I swilled innumerable pints of bitter. I don’t remember his wife’s name, although she sometimes called to the pub… by way of staying in touch, I guess. I know that Luke once had a girlfriend called June. We all knew about June; because Luke had the letters J U N E tattooed on the four fingers on his right hand. ‘What does your wife think of your tattoo?’ I asked, late one night. ‘She knows they don’t wash off,’ he replied. ‘It wasn’t such a great idea’? I ventured. ‘We was in luv, wairn’t we; we done a deal and we both kept o’r ‘alf of the bargain, daint we.’

No further questions!

Remember that one; ‘they don’t wash off’. Whilst tattoo shops are a flourishing industry, tattoo removal is the fastest growing business in the world.

There are many reasons that somebody might opt to have a tattoo. It was love that lowered Luke, but back in those days, there was many a tattoo triggered through drink. It is different now we know, tattoos having made it to respectability.

People today feel they can express themselves and represent who they are through art. Other reasons for going the tattoo trail are attention seeking, self-expression, independence, rebellion – and of course, ‘luv’! The impulsive tattoo is often the one with the lasting regret. Even in these tattoo-friendly times we live in, a quarter of tattooed Americans regret ever having it done.

Gone are the days when tattoos were associated mostly with gangs, bikers, or other fringe groups. If you are tempted to go for it, perhaps the best plan is to have one where nobody can see it without your permission. Because, as Luke said; ‘they don’t wash off’.

I see so many naturally beautiful people blemished for life by outrageous tattoos. We are not talking about the little cupid, the dove or the broken heart. Think long and hard before you go for it. Just consider what it would be like wearing long sleeves for the rest of your life!

Don’t Forget

The trouble with the world today is that all the stupid people are cocksure of everything and all the intelligent people are full of doubt.