I am not an honest man!

I am not an honest man: let us get that fact out in the open – before we start taking a look at you!

First of all we have to establish if there is any such thing as an acceptable level of dishonesty. The bible tells us that ‘the just man falls seven times a day’. So, taking it as read that I am not an honest man, I do at least wish to offer my credentials as a ‘just man’.

I sometimes tell a lie so as not to hurt another person’s feelings. Admirable as that may be, it is not being honest. Down through the years, I would have greatly exaggerated my assets and painted a rosy picture when sitting across from a bank manager when seeking a loan. Once I borrowed a dozen dry cows from Mick Forde when the bank’s farm assessor came to inspect their prospects. The dishonest act served its purpose and I got the loan to buy land. (Which I did repay!)

If we go back to my dating days, I’m afraid that honesty didn’t figure with me and the Lads. (No, no… not you Darling!) And how do I phrase this next one… let’s just say that I never considered the tax man as an equal partner in my business! When I did the interview for this job I passed myself off as a writer. Another way I have been a dishonest man is by always seriously portraying myself as an honest man.

So how about you? Are you as honest as ‘Honest Abe’, President Lincoln? (No doubt he is turning in his grave these days!)

I recently watched one of the most extraordinary and moving films I have ever sat through. It was the true story of Irish-American boxer, James Braddock, who after his licence had been revoked to save him from hammerings, made the greatest comeback in sporting history.

Out of the desperation of seeing his children hungry in the New York depression of the 1930s, James first defeated the top two contenders, before beating Max Baer for the World Heavyweight Title. But it is Jimmy’s honesty we wish to highlight here. At the family’s lowest ebb his 10-year-old son saw his chance and nabbed a joint of meat from the local butcher’s counter. His father marched him back with the meat and told him; ‘ours is an honest family… we don’t take no stuff that don’t belong to us’.

James then queued for hours to get the few dollars in welfare to buy meagre helpings of food. After his first big fight win, he queued again and handed back the exact amount he had obtained when he was destitute. ‘It’s the honest thing to do,’ he told the startled official at the hatch. ‘Give it to somebody who is hungry.’

That is real honesty; as is also still the case with many people in everyday life. I sold a van to John Bray from Bayllyhealy a few years back. I had been in the habit of leaving an envelope in the van containing a few quid for emergencies or for the times I forget my wallet.

I of course forgot about it when I cleaned out the van – and never would have thought of it again. A week later, John arrived at my door, having found the money in the manual pouch. I know I would have done the same thing, but just to say that I find the honesty of people like John so refreshing.

My parents, with all their faults, were like James Braddock when it came to not taking something which did not belong to us. ‘It is a sin to steal a pin, no less to steal a greater thing,’ my mother always preached, and my brothers and I did heed that teaching. Thirty seven per cent of British shoppers admit they have deliberately omitted to scan an item at a self-service checkout. (The Grocer/Daily Mail) Some of us admitted dishonest folks would not do that.

Honesty may at first appear as a black and white issue, but you can see that it is no such thing and has more to do with intent. If a restaurant omits an item from my bill, I would tell them; but a survey in America shows that around 10% feel it is ok to get away without paying for a waiter’s mistake.

Six per cent feel that it is acceptable to take the cash from a wallet found in a restaurant, before handing the wallet with cards to the manager, and 20% believe there is nothing wrong with telling your children to lie about their age to obtain cheaper tickets to the cinema.

Now, how many of you who look down on me for my dishonesty are shuffling uneasily in your seats? At least I am honest enough to admit that I’m dishonest!

Don’t Forget

Two ‘tweaks’ I suggest to the new rules in Gaelic football. The goalie should be confined within his own area, and not become an extra man to forwards. Play should continue after the final hooter until the ball is out of play, or the team in possession is dispossessed.