‘Disable disability and embrace diversity’

By Fintan Bray

Every human being should try to be the best they can be, by facing their challenges and disabling their disability, to the best of their ability. Yet, every human being should celebrate their uniqueness, be proud of who they are and embrace their diversity. This balance for inclusion is a delicate one. This is my story.

My name is Fintan Bray. I am 27 years old. I was born with Down Syndrome. I live with my parents, Eamonn and Marie, and my younger brother Fiachra, who is working from home as an engineer. My brother Kenneth is a trained physio and now manages the farm and lives next door, and my sister Kathrina lives in Kildare and works from home as a solicitor. As for me, I have been working in Clonabreany House Hotel in County Meath for the last three years. I meet and greet the guests and I really enjoy the social experience of my job.

My educational opportunities were many, thanks largely to my parents for advocating for me. I attended preschool in Mullingar with my peers, St Tola’s NS in Delvin with my peers, St Finian’s secondary school in Mullingar with my peers and finally Cavan Institute with my peers. I was the only person in my class with a recognised disability, and I graduated with a diploma in Hospitality and Catering. That sounds like I had a typical educational experience, and I did, but I also faced many challenges.

I found studying and concentrating difficult and like many teenagers I got into a little trouble ‘messing about’. Timekeeping was another challenge for me but, the greatest test of my character was trying to ‘fit in’. I thought then that I had to mould myself into what others thought I should be, and for that I lost myself for a while. Thankfully, all that changed.

Embracing my difference

My interests are my passions, as I live and breathe them. They are the best of me disabling my disability and the best of me embracing my difference. My first passion is swimming. I started lessons when I was six years old. This led me to join swimming clubs in Mullingar and Kells, competing on the national and world stages, which was a huge commitment for both me and my parents. I competed with Down Syndrome Ireland in three European contest and won a bronze medal at the World Championship in Canada.

Dance is my second passion but, given the current situation, it is my first, as I cannot swim in my living room! I participated in a Strictly Come Dancing when I was 21, as a fundraiser for St Tola’s. In fact, it was the day of my 21st birthday. This fired a passion in me, so I started attending dance lessons in Mullingar with Sarah Corrigan. That led me to join partner dancing lessons in Barndoor Studio, with Nessa O’Reilly. Now I travel round the country with my dance partner Eleanor Murray performing at Ablefests and fleadhs and wherever the road takes us.

Life as a young, independent male is a busy space. I enjoy connecting with my friends on Facebook, Instagram and WhatsApp. Thanks to my third level skills, I can cook, clean and be self-sufficient – for a few days at least! Before lockdown, I had a social life, thanks to my family who dropped and picked me up when I needed the lift. I’m a member of the ‘7 Musketeers’, a self-named social group who are like family to me, and we always look out for each other. Over the years I have attended speech therapy to improve speed and pronunciation for effective communication and currently I am attending a tutor to support my reading and writing (hence this article). I also attended the Latch-On Literacy Programme in Athboy, which was run by Down Syndrome Ireland. Being as independent as I can be and always looking out for ways to self-improve is my life’s ambition and something, I am very proud of. I have slowly learned that ‘fitting in’ is not about me changing but society accepting.

My voice

This brings me to my voice, the voice of others with disabilities and the voice of the Down Syndrome community. I am first and foremost my own person. I have a strong voice and a determined character to make a difference for myself and for others. I am a representative for the Westmeath Longford branch on the recently established Disability Participation and Consultation Network (DPCN), which encourages people with disabilities to have a voice in what the government do to support us and how they should do it. This initiative stems from Ireland’s participation in the Convention on the Rights of People with Disabilities. People with disabilities have hopes and dreams like everyone else, people with Down Syndrome have challenges like everyone else, people like me have a voice, but sadly not everyone does. So, if you have a voice, use it, you will speak for the collective us and for a more inclusive society, where we have opportunities to disable our disabilities and embrace our differences with pride.

I would like to thank my family, my friends, my dance and swimming communities, my co-workers and my girlfriend Monica. I would especially like to thank Mary O’Neill, the manager of Clonabreany House Hotel, for treating me no differently than the rest of her staff. We all have challenges, so if you can, try to overcome them. We all have personalities, so if you can, try to make them shine. We all have hopes and dreams, so if you can, try to hold onto them.

This is my voice, what about yours?