From cars to counselling

Today September 10, is World Suicide Prevention Day, and Good2Talk are having a coffee morning to mark it and raise awareness of their services. You still have time to drop in for that, but they have an open door policy, so you can drop in any time. In this interview, Pat Gavin, the founder of Good2Talk, explains his background and outlines what they offer.

In the motor sales business for 32 years, Mullingar man Pat Gavin completely turned his life around after he had a life-changing experience of his own, which came in the form of open heart surgery in 2002.

Now a counsellor and psychotherapist, as well as lecturing on mental health and running his own private practice, Pat is CEO of Good2Talk, the counselling and psychotherapy service on College Street in Mullingar, which is completely run on fundraising and donations.

Here he tells us how he made the change from the motor trade to the counselling sector and how it ultimately led to a more fulfilling life for the 51-year-old.

“I was the aftersales director in Grange Motors. I started off working in the parts department and worked my way up over time, it was experience that got me to directorship at that point in time,” says Pat.

“I have to say I never liked the motor trade. It was a job, and you know, when you have a family – I had responsibilities and I was well looked after, so I stuck with it over the years.

“I enjoyed the people side of it but I have no interest in cars, no interest in mechanics, I don’t even like driving.

“The change came in 2000, and the reason for it was I had a life-changing experience, I had a aortic valve replacement. That was the life-changer for me but it was a very positive change. When I was recovering at home I started my correspondence course and I worked on from that. It was my wife who said to me, ‘You’ve been talking about counselling for years, you’re talking about making a change, start off with that’.

“So it was life-changing and it saved my life in every way.

“I stayed with the garage business until 2009 and studied my degree while I was working. I did night time and weekend studies and I did my Bachelors in Counselling and Psychotherapy from Dublin Business School.

“To be honest, the job became boring and I became stressed. It was no longer a challenge for me. So they offered me redundancy and I took it.”

However, the absence of a regular wage and a 42-hour week, and having more time on his hands presented a challenge for Pat.

“It was a big challenge. I was used to a structure, I was used to wages coming in, working from half eight to half six, and suddenly you don’t have a wage coming in. It took two years for me to settle down to that. It was hugely stressful and hugely anxiety provoking. I had panic attacks and it went on for two years, I just didn’t know where I was going or how things were going to pan out.

“It’s a big decision when you decide you’re going, and for a while you think you’re on holidays, and then it hits home. Luckily enough, I had my degree and I had been doing my counselling so I re-invented myself. “

Good 2 Talk

“The reason I set this place up was because I was working with a client one day and I was charging. This guy had lost his son by suicide. He had come in to me two days after he had buried his son. I charged him and I had many a sleepless night over that and I said that’s not good enough.

“I’m not saying that I wasn’t entitled to be paid – everyone’s entitled to make a living, but there was nowhere for that man to go to get the support he needed without having to pay for it. And I felt that was wrong and that was one of the seeds for me to start this type of a business.

“The second thing was, I witnessed an incident where a person who was bereaved by sudden death: it was a car accident and the people involved were just after being told that their son had been killed in a car crash. The medics were called and even though the people were distraught, the medics asked for payment, and I felt that was wrong.

“Those two things hit home with me, you know, when people are at their most vulnerable, at the most critical times of their lives and we’re charging them. That was the reason I went about trying to set up here.

“Yes, we need money to keep operating, but when people who are in crisis are that vulnerable, I don’t think they should have to pay.”

Set-up

Coming from a business background, Pat drew together a group of people to set up Good2Talk, a community service that is free to anybody who has suicide ideation or intention. The rest of it is funded through ability-to-pay and donations. There are 18 therapists who are all voluntary and since setting up in May last year, 320 people have engaged in one-to-one counselling.

“We deal with people from all backgrounds, whether it’s the Travelling community, we have a Polish therapist here, and that’s a new service we offer,” says Pat. “We work with depression and a lot of anxiety. A lot of young people present with anxiety and self-harming. Our age group is from 13 upwards.

“The one thing I want to say that makes us different from everybody else is that we are a counselling and psychotherapy centre, which means that a person can have a stressful situation or a problem with work, it doesn’t have to be a serious mental health issue. Someone might come here for just one session just to talk something out, it’s not all suicide. It is prevention of suicide, preventing someone getting to that point, and it’s open to everybody. And it’s working.”

The main concerns people present with “can be any number of things – job loss can lead to difficulties at home, break-ups, violence in the home, abuse – whether it’s sexual, physical or emotional. It’s as individual as the people coming in,” explains Pat.

“Mostly we’re giving people a space to talk, they just want to say out loud what they’re thinking and try and make sense of it, because it’s one thing when it’s in your head, but when you actually hear yourself speak it, it becomes a different thing.

“We get a lot of men coming in, we get more women than men, but we do get a lot of men and the problem with men is that men do not know how to express their feelings. We just don’t know what words to put to what we’re feeling. They just know there’s something going on there and it’s all about trying to teach a man how to express what he’s feeling inside.”

Get in touch with Good2Talk

“They contact us by phone, we have a website, good2talk.ie, and they can walk in off the street – that’s how most people seem to access it. It’s open door policy. We’re open from half nine to half five every day, and you should have an assessment within two days, and we match the therapist with the client.

“When I opened this place, I said it was about the person, that person walking in off the street, and the day it stops being that, we’ll close it.

“It’s a huge step to walk in through the door, and it’s a privilege to see those people walking in and trusting us to help them. And we’re getting a good response to it. We get such enjoyment out of seeing someone walking out that door and seeing that they are feeling the better for it.”

• Pat Gavin is writing a series of articles over the coming months in the Westmeath Examiner explaining mental health, stress, anxiety, panic attacks, and depression.