Game, Set and Match!

These are impromptu responses at Inklings meeting to the line: ‘Game, Set and Match’. It’s clear the fluffy aspects of tennis are lost on the three Inklings members: Liam, Jacqui and Brendan.

‘Anyone for tennis?’

Ask Maureen and Denis.

That couple, they get on my wick.

With their pristine white gear,

which must have cost dear

They really do make me feel sick.

And all their loud grunts,

a right pair of runts.

They think they’re up there with the best.

I just can’t stand her,

with her shrieking backhander

And he, just as much, I detest.

But their day will come.

And it will, oh by gum.

For a plan someday I will hatch.

I’ll switch tennis ball,

for grenade and then call

‘For you chaps: It’s Game Set and Match!’

………………………………………Liam Manning

It’s on again, that damn Wimbledon, little balls flying over a net from one side to the other under ferocious groans.

If it hurts that much to hit a ball with a racket, why do it?

He roars at the telly shouting his advice lifting me out of it.

He cheers when they get a goal or whatever it is they get.

Maybe it’s not a goal but what does it matter? It’s all a balls anyway.

He gives me running commentary, as if I’m interested.

I play along nodding my head like the dog that is perched on the dash of his car.

Today I will have peace...

He rushes in from work, demanding his dinner on a tray for the television, fearful of missing the next shot, no time for pleasantries, not even a peck on the cheek.

Then I hear the roar, “ Oh no, the damn telly isn’t working!”

I feel the 13-amp fuse resting comfortably between my bosom as I quietly whisper; “Game, Set and Match!”

………………………………………Jacqui Wiley

“Let’s go! I’ll serve,” She said,

as she smacked the tennis ball;

a small yellow fluffy thing

that never seemed to fall.

I flailed at it with my racquet

and missed it once again,

she laughed and shouted “15 Love,”

and prepared to serve again.

The second time seemed easier

as I returned it towards the net,

but it didn’t make it over,

it dropped and died a death.

“30 Love,” she shouted

as she struck another ball;

I smacked it straight back at her,

as she swung I watched it fall,

slowly spinning backwards,

away from my control.

Now she’d got another point

and I had lost my soul.

“40 Love,” she sniggered,

and tried to serve an ace.

By the time I saw the ball

it was already in my face.

I crumpled to the ground in agony,

and was disoriented too,

“Oh, Love,” she said, “are you okay”,

sure I hadn’t got a clue!

But I replied “Love all,” groggily,

“Love all. Love everyone. Love you.”

And as I tossed the ball, I said: “Here, Love, catch.”

“Let’s go inside and play some chess,

it’s Game, Set and Match!”

………………………………………Brendan Martin

Liam Manning, Jacqui Wiley, Brendan Martin are members of Inklings Writing Group, who meet on Tuesdays at 11am in the Annebrook House Hotel. If you like to write, drop in.